I thought I had gotten over it, the foolish idealism that has always made me more likely to believe in goodness, and in the possibility of that goodness showing up in actual
people. I grew up being taught that people are basically good. I thought I had gotten over it. But recently, I found myself once again surprised when it 'was. not. true.'
A good friend of mine, in fact several good friends of mine were involved in various ways in a political race. And it got nasty and low. Imagine that. They say “all's fair in love and war,” and political involvement is, for many of us, a sort of twisted combination of the two, so I really should not be surprised.
My friend is an outstanding person...who once made a mistake. His mistake was a serious one, and he knows it. He was convicted of a crime, sentenced, served his sentence, and then did what only a rare few, a VERY rare few, are able to do: he has fought his way back to respectability!
That journey is so very tough, so very much like the Greek Sisyphus pushing that rock up the hill forever. Most are stuck there, forever condemned, once there is a “mark” on a criminal record next to one's name.... His journey, as is the case for most wearing those shoes, has been costly, but also instructive. He has learned much – about himself, about how other human beings really are (not that pretty, really), about obstacles that are real and those that aren't.
I believe he is better for having lived through what he has lived through, since his debt to society was paid – better in a way that few of us should ever have to become. But better, nonetheless. He is, because of the wounds he has had to heal in himself and around him, better than any of us, now. Some people don't see it that way. In fact, a lot of people. Unfortunately, I fear it is most people. Many of them, my other friends. And in political competition as well as the competition for jobs and careers, or favor, or love, or whatever it is, we human beings are not filled with goodness. Not at all. No, in those circumstances we unfortunately show how bad we really are, not that we have goodness within us.
This happened in the public eye here in Minnesota a few months back as well. The nurses were on strike – or headed that way – here in the Twin Cities, and things were getting tense. Watch out whenever this happens. Put on your battle armor. The Nurses Union got personal. A talented and bright woman who had made a mistake in life, but had completely paid for it long ago, had managed to get a good job – again, an AMAZING feat! She was the spokesperson for the association of hospitals. But the nurses – you know, those people who are caring by nature? - exposed her mistake (
for their political gain and to act out their anger in sideways fashion!!) and “re-ruined” her life!! She was fired from her job. Another “sentence” was handed down for her crime, not by the courts or a judge or a jury
which is how we are supposed to do it in civilized society, but by individuals who had a lust for power and a
sick need to condemn and put down and judge. Sick. Depraved. Not people being good.
My friend recently had to go through this as well: the “re-sentencing” for a crime he had already paid fully, long ago. The
informal double jeopardy of sick judgmental people who rationalize their inability to let go what is in the past!! Someone who he probably thought of as a friend, sent out communication to about 600 people naming the crime and accusing him of a lack of contrition (13 years later! How long, O Lord,How Long????). My friend's crime, as I mentioned and as he knows, is not given a pretty name – I will not use the word because it is inflammatory in any context – and now he has been “branded” with that word all over again, for another 600 people. Others then sanctimoniously pontificated about “the difficulties he faces due to his bad choices”....as if he hadn't already DONE that part!! (Using that “bad choices” thing on someone else, many years later like this, is merely another way to rationalize your own sick judgmentalism).
What should have been left in the past, was ungraciously and maliciously brought forward in a vicious new pain-inflicting “sentence” of societal judgment, for something that society, if we were good people at all, should be able to leave alone once it is done – which in this case it has been done for years and years. The shocking and disappointing part for me is this: I really thought the crowd in which this played out was made up of better people. The person who “re-labeled” my friend, is someone who I thought of as a “good person.”
This was in a political party/group of leaders who profess to care about the dispossessed and the least in our society. I should have known. I thought I had learned that the message about the goodness of people I was taught was a false hope. But I guess I hadn't. I guess I keep hoping, foolishly perhaps. I keep hoping....Can we be better??